This has proven not to be the case. The 24-year-old is musing aloud about tomato smoothies, the nature of reality versus dreams, and writing things such as “Even if rain forgets umbrella, fish can’t drive bicycle because moon and bread don’t share the same Wifi.” This is to say nothing of Boniface’s dating advice, imploring men to stick with “at most, three women. Four if you are going through a lot.“

For whatever it’s worth, most professionals associated with the club are attempting to keep their sense of humor about it. New Werder acquisition Yukinari Sugawara – a Japanese international from the land of the haiku – responded to Boniface’s post about “fish and bicycles” by saying “I’m learning from you.” SVW captain Marco Friedl laughed off the posts with a “whatever he says” shrug.

Werder chief personnel executive Clemens Fritz humorously referred to the posts as “abstract art” on a local newscast. Bremen coach Horst Steffen – who has praised the forward’s quality in addition to criticizing Boniface’s form – still declared himself content with his player’s latest substitute appearance. Boniface logged nine minutes in the weekend win over St. Pauli and did come close to scoring his first Bremen goal. 

“Victor has been putting his work in,” Steffen remarked at the post match press conference. “He was a few centimeters off [on a chance at 90+4]. I wasn’t dissatisfied with him.“

“He has a nose for goal, but must continue to work,” SV licensing head Peter Niemeyer added in the mixed zone. “Every training session will help him continue to improve. It’s clear that he’s not yet where we want him to be yet.”

GGFN | Peter Weis

The news constitutes a bitter blow for Werder. Agu remained committed to the Hanseaten despite interest from the Premier League this summer. Thankfully, Bremen were able to complete a loan deal for Leeds United fullback Isaac Schmidt this summer. Schmidt can fill in for Agu at left back opposite another new arrival from the Isle, Japanese right back Yukinari Sugawara.

Werder confirmed Agu’s injury on Monday after the results of a Sunday MRI came in. The Bundesliga outfit merely stated that Agu will miss “several months”. Sport Bild reports that the nature of the injury will rule Agu out through February 2026. It looks to be the case that the defender will remain unavailable until well into the second half of the current season. 

“I feel incredibly sorry for Felix,” head coach Horst Steffen noted in a statement released on the club’s website. “We will do everything we can to get him fit again as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, however, we must assume that Felix will be out for a long time.”

GGFN | Peter Weis

Hamburg Make Mince Meat of Mainz 

Hamburg made it back-to-back home wins as they battered Mainz 05 4-0 on Sunday afternoon. HSV were on top from the first minute and found themselves 2-0 up after just nine minutes thanks to goals from Albert Sambi Lokonga and Rayan Philippe. Philippe would add to his first goal in the second half, bringing his tally for the season to three goals from six games. The forward had a failed move to Mainz in the summer and mocked the situation with his celebration by mimicking a phone call. 

HSV head coach Merlin Polzin opted for a new 3-4-3 formation, and it worked a treat against a side that was so successful last campaign. 

“We’re progressing and one can see that in our play with the ball and against the ball. We’ve more steps to take, but one senses – and this is vitally important – that the team is finding out who they are and the connections are getting better. The players need to feel it on the pitch,” explained Polzin. 

HSV move up to 9th in the Bundesliga, whilst Mainz drop to 16th. 

Bayern Breeze Past Frankfurt

Ahead of this one, it was billed as Bayern’s first big test this season. However, when Bayern went 0-1 up after 17 seconds through Luis Díaz, it was anything but a real test. 

Bayern once again dominated and showed just how powerful their forward line is this season. Vincent Kompany’s side went 0-2 before the break through a Harry Kane curled effort from 20 meters out. If you haven’t seen the goal already, I urge you to take a look. 

Diaz added to his first-half goal late into the second half to make sure that Bayern go six wins from six games in the Bundesliga. 

“I don’t think these games should be used as a yardstick to evaluate the boys right now,” Toppmöller insisted when conducting a post-match interview with Sky Germany after the match. “It’s important for us to know that we still have a little room for improvement in order to compete at this level.”

“No one has been able to keep up with Bayern at their level thus far [this year],” Toppmöller continued, adding special praise for Harry Kane’s distance effort that made it 0-2 in the 27th minute. “That was a typical Bayern goal and Harry Kane’s finish was simply world-class.”

For Frankfurt, it’s now 12 goals conceded in four games in all competitions. There’s no question that Frankfurt have an excellent team, but right now, their defensive displays will be worrying head coach Dino Toppmöller. Bayern stay top as Frankfurt drop out of the European places for the first time this season (7th).  

Dortmund Leipzig Stalemate 

Borussia Dortmund and RB Leipzig played a rather dull 1-1 draw that was billed as “the battle of the Bayern chasers”. In fact, the final xG stats (Dortmund 0.88, Leipzig 1.05) illustrate that the final scoreline was even a little generous. 

Dortmund remain undefeated this season ahead of their showdown with Bayern after the international break. Leipzig, meanwhile, continue their undefeated run since being battered by Bayern on opening night. 

In truth, both teams will probably be satisfied with the draw as Dortmund and Leipzig stay 2nd and 3rd, respectively. 

Around The Grounds

Elsewhere in the Bundesliga, FC Heidenheim still remains bottom following a 1-0 loss to VfB Stuttgart. The Swabians scored the winner just past the hour mark from time to add even more misery on Frank Schmidt’s side. Heidenheim stay bottom, whilst Stuttgart shoot up into 4th. 

Bayer Leverkusen have put their early-season woes behind them as they go 5th with a 2-0 win against Union Berlin. It’s the first time that B04 has registered back-to-back Bundesliga wins this season as new head coach Kasper Hjulmand looks to be making a positive impact on his squad. 

Borussia Mönchengladbach still remain winless going into the international break after a 0-0 draw against SC Freiburg. Despite that and amid all the administrative turmoil at Borussia Mönchengladbach, interim head coach Eugen Polanski has been given the green light to continue his audition on the sidelines.

There were also wins for FC Köln (0-1 vs TSG Hoffenheim), Werder Bremen (1-0 vs St. Pauli), and FC Augsburg (3-1 vs VfL Wolfsburg). 

GGFN | Jamie Allen

Some fine combination play out of the back culminated in a useful cross from SVW attacker Justin Njinmah being sent into the box. Summer record signing Samuel Mbangula didn’t hesitate to latch onto a blind clearance away from St. Pauli defender Eric Smith. A polished finish from 16 meters out gave the Belgian U21 international his second career Bundesliga goal and fifth overall scorer point through six matchdays. 

Werder have taken some heat for shelling out a reported €10m to acquire the 21-year-old. There have also certainly been times in the young season when Mbangula has looked far from properly acclimated to the Bundesliga level. Coach Steffen and the Bremen front office nevertheless remain satisfied with Mbangula’s relatively rapid progress. The player himself also knows that there’s plenty of room for improvement. 

“It was incredible to score in front of our fans,” Mbangula remarked in his post-match interview with Sky Germany on Saturday. “It was a great feeling and I hope it was the first of many goals. We can improve in many areas. We’re a new group that needs to find ourselves. I don’t know how long it will take.

“I know I haven’t reached my best level yet,” Mbangula continued. “But that will come soon. I’ll keep working hard everyday and, one day, everyone will see me at my best level.”

“He has improved every week,” Steffen said at the post-match press conference. “I’m very happy that he’s been able to demonstrate how important he is to us.“

Bremen sporting director Peter Niemeyer echoed Steffen’s sentiments in the mixed zone, noting that “Mbangula is beginning to show his great potential on the pitch.” Werder’s director of professional football Clemens Fritz discussed Mbangula in greater depth as a guest on Sport1’s “Doppelpass” footballing roundtable.

“He’s proven how valuable he can be and we are delighted to have him with us,” Fritz said. “A minor injury slowed his development. But he’s light on his feet, works well defensively, and uses his body very well in direct duels. His technique, coupled with his body positioning, renders him a very cheeky player.“

GGFN | Peter Weis

Blockbuster summer signing Samuel Mbangula opened up the scoring early, notching his second Bundesliga goal in the 2nd minute. After that, Werder weren’t able to convert their momentum, and several additional scoring chances, into a second goal. The hosts were at least able to defend consistently over the course of the additional 88 minutes. 

Speaking to Sky Germany afterwards, Bremen head coach Horst Steffen praised his team for its solid defending throughout and added that – on a cumulative basis – Werder contributed “about a half hour of decent football“. Steffen also conceded that “an equalizer would not have been undeserved” as the visiting Kiezkicker got their looks in as well.

“We didn’t do well in many situations,” Friedl noted in his post-match interview with DAZN. “And we made many mistakes. Such victories come over the course of a season. One can take them. I’m happy that we won today, even if it was an ugly win.”

GGFN | Peter Weis

Saturday afternoon saw the turn of Augsburg vs Wolfsburg, Bayer Leverkusen hosting Union Berlin, St.Pauli travelling to Werder Bremen, and the standout game of the afternoon being Borussia Dortmund vs RB Leipzig. 

Here are the three things we learnt:

Borussia Dortmund struggle in their first big Bundesliga test:

Dortmund went down early on against RB Leipzig thanks to a Christoph Baumgartner opener, but they were able to rally and equalise through Yan Couto. However, apart from that, die Schwarzgelben struggled to impose themselves on the visitors. 

Via FotMob, Dortmund failed to register a big chance against Leipzig, and it looked as if their attacks struggled to get into the game, compared to the likes of Johan Bakayoko, Yan Diomande and Romulo for Leipzig. This could have potentially been the type of game to bring Carney Chukwuemeka on for, but instead, he remained on the bench. 

Simply put, Leipzig were just the better side on both the defensive and attacking ends. This could be because they did not have a midweek game, while Dortmund played Athletic Club. 

Dortmund can’t afford to get hung up on this result for too long, as after the international break, they face Bayern Munich. Considering that the Bavarians could go four points clear of them following today’s result, it will be a game they have to bring their best. 

However, as things stand, Dortmund will look like the only side that can come close to challenging Bayern this season. 

Bayer Leverkusen’s young attackers shine:

The wealth of attacking quality at Leverkusen’s disposal had failed to make their mark in the opening games of the season, but against Union Berlin, a rather unexpected pair took centre stage. 

Both Ernest Poku and Christian Kofane were the standouts for Leverkusen this afternoon. The former used his pace to help die Werkself counter Union, while Kofane was sharp enough to latch on to a Fredrick Ronnow mistake to score his first Bundesliga goal for the club. 

This was much needed for Levekrusen, as for much of the early stages of the season, they had to rely on Alejandro Grimaldo. The likes of Malik Tillman, Eliesse ben Seghir and Claudio Echeverri will still need to show their quality in the coming weeks. 

Kofane will be especially important in the absence of Patrik Schick, as there is no other recognised striker in the squad. 

The international break has come at the right time for Leverkusen. They currently sit fourth in the Bundesliga, but can now use the next two weeks to adjust to Kasper Hjulmand, as this will be the first extended period the Dane has with the team. After the international break, they face Mainz, and that should present a different-looking Leverkusen. 

Augsburg put some doubts to rest:

Heading into their game against Wolfsburg, Augsburg had not won a Bundesliga game since the opening day against Freiburg. This resulted in doubts starting to surface about head coach Sandro Wagner, but those were laid to rest today. 

Against the Autostadt side, Augsburg put in a commanding display winning 3-1, with Mert Kömur the standout player. The performance was reminiscent of their win against Freiburg in terms of the fact that they were clinical when it came to their finishing. There is still yet to be a clear sign of a style of play, but that will likely come with more time.

On Kömur, the 20-year-old was called up to the Germany under-21 national team. Considering he can also qualify for Turkey, the DFB must make sure they don’t experience the same fate they did with Can Uzun and Kenan Yildiz, and give Turkey their front three for the next generation. 

GGFN | Jack Meenan

Historic Harry 

Harry Kane scored a brace on Friday evening as Bayern Munich comfortably brushed aside Werder Bremen to truly kick off the Oktoberfest season. While Bayern are enjoying their best start to a Bundesliga campaign since 2016, Harry Kane also wrote his name into history once again. 

The Englishman’s two goals brought his overall Bayern tally to 100 in just 104 games. He is now the quickest player to register 100 goals for a club in Europe’s top five leagues. He surpasses both Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid) and Erling Haaland (Manchester City), who both achieved 100 goals in 105 games. With 10 Bundesliga goals already this season, Kane appears to be in the form of his life as Bayern go marching on. 

The game against Bremen also saw Joshua Kimmich and Leon Goretzka make their 300th Bundesliga appearance, whilst youngster Tom Bischof was granted his first start for Bayern. 

Bayern are now eight wins from eight in the Bundesliga and face Eintracht Frankfurt away in matchday 6. 

The 10-Goal Game 

Borussia Mönchengladbach vs Eintracht Frankfurt may just have hosted the most bizarre and entertaining game of the season as they played out a cracking (and at times hilarious) 4-6. 

Gladbach are yet to win this season, have sacked their head coach, and have been woeful at defending so far. When the halftime whistle blew and Frankfurt were 5-0 up, you feared that the Eagles could easily make it double-figures. Frankfurt immediately made it 0-6 within two minutes of the restart, leaving the Gladbach fans who had stayed in the ground possibly regretting that decision. 

Interim Gladbach coach Eugen Polanski looked dumbfounded as he witnessed the lack of defending. For a top-flight side, it was shambolic. 

However, what transpired almost saved Polanski’s blushes and possibly gives him the most credit at full-time. Gladbach and Frankfurt seemingly reserved roles as the home side went on to score four second-half goals whilst the away side took the role of not defending. 

“During the game I was in shock,” Polanski answered when a reporter asked him what words he found for the team at the half. “It was my job at the half to tell the team that things could be different. After that lifeless first half that doesn’t work at Bundesliga level, it got a little loud at the break.” 

“That was a desolate performance by the team,” BMG sporting director Roland Virkus told Sky Germany. “We lacked everything you need in football and were rightly 0-5 down at half-time. It must be said that the team made progress after the break, but one can’t sugarcoat a game like this. [Interim head coach] Eugen [Polanski] retains our support, but we all have to take a look at this together.“

Gladbach remain winless, and bizarrely, Frankfurt have conceded eight goals in two games.

Dortmund Dominance 

Borussia Dortmund continued their unbeaten start to the season with an impressive 0-2 win away at Mainz 05. 

With the win, BVB stay second, are looking like the early contenders to Bayern, and even set a new Bundesliga record. 

Niko Kovač’s side were in the lead at half-time for the 10th league game in a row – a new milestone in Germany’s top flight.

Daniel Svensson opened the scoring for Borussia Dortmund, netting his second Bundesliga goal for his new club after capping off a fine counter-attack after Mainz’ Paul Nebel hit Gregor Kobel’s post at the other end. Karim Adeyemi then doubled Dortmund’s lead in the 40th minute after another superb counter-attack, giving BVB a 0-2 lead.

Speaking after the game, Kovač commended his team’s performance: “The team played very disciplined and organised for 90 minutes. We scored the goals at the right time and were a bit lucky with the shot that hit the post, which led us to score our first goal right afterwards. I saw a team today that finished the game the way we should on the road. We didn’t concede anything else – or at least very little. So I’m very happy and proud of the boys that they rewarded themselves with this performance.”

Around The Grounds

Union Berlin and Hamburg played out a 0-0 draw, but the main story came from the stands. Union fans were protesting the pre-match deployment of the federal police against supporters of the Berlin club. HSV fans were also protesting the late kick-off on Sunday evening, having made the two-hour train journey to the capital. Banners expressed that the late kick-off should only be reserved for those competing in European competitions. Given the notorious Deutsche Bahn delays, the protests seem justified.

FC Heidenheim secured their first win of the season as they beat FC Augsburg 2-1. FCA drop to 16th as the pressure mounts on head coach Sandro Wagner. 

Elsewhere, there were wins for Bayer Leverkusen (1-2 vs St. Pauli), RB Leipzig (0-1 vs VfL Wolfsburg), and VfB Stuttgart (1-2 vs FC Köln). SC Freiburg and TSG Hoffenheim played out a 1-1 draw. 

GGFN | Jamie Allen

Two scenes in particular aggravated Friedl and Steffen. Bayern attacker Michael Olise won a corner in the 21st-minute. FCB defender Jonathan Tah would convert the subsequent 22nd-minute dead-ball into the opening 1-0 goal. Replays nevertheless confirmed that Olise had shoved Bremen’s Felix Agu in the lead-up. Beyond that, Friedl thought the 44th-minute penalty that enabled Harry Kane to convert the 2-0 from the spot was soft.

Friedl and Steffen both noted their discontent when conducting their post-match interviews with Sky Germany. Steffen angrily noted “I’m sorry, but that has to be called!” when referencing Olise’s foul on Agu. Friedl reacted in the same fashion, grousing “That’s definitely a foul!” when given a chance to survey the scene again. 

“I’m always fair when it comes to fouls,” Friedl said of his duel with Kane inside the box shortly before the end of the first-half. “I don’t make any movement. He runs into me. There’s definitely contact and one can see that. Whether that’s enough for a penalty? I find that difficult to say to be perfectly honest.“

“I have the feeling that Marco puts his foot out and he [Kane] runs into it from behind,” Steffen said in support of his skipper. “So, do excuse me, but I see it differently.“

“We still deserved to lose,” Friedl then added in the mixed zone afterwards. “We’re allowed to concede some goals, but we’ve conceded far too many this season. The next few weeks are crucial for us. We have to get our first home win of the season next against St. Pauli.“

“We couldn’t really work well in possession because the pressure from Bayern was too great,” Steffen said at the post-match press conference. “We couldn’t take a 0-1 deficit into the locker room.

“A few bright spots from us, but it was a deserved victory for them,” Steffen continued. “For us, it was a tough opening five weeks and we’re glad that they’re behind us.

“We had tough opponents [in the form of Eintracht Frankfurt, Bayer Leverkusen, Borussia Mönchengladbach, SC Freiburg, and Bayern Munich],” Steffen concluded. “These were really tough teams to play against and we’re happy to be heading home to face St. Pauli next week.“

Indeed, Bremen’s opening fixture list was quite difficult. Four out of the five teams faced presently compete in Europe. Bremen were only able to win against Gladbach and can be slightly proud of the fact that they nicked a point off Leverkusen in what would prove Erik ten Hag’s final match.

The fact that Bremen have conceded a league high 14 goals and are close to the Bundesliga relegation pack is still disconcerting. Marco Friedl’s ominous predictions ahead of the season, not to mention the tip that Bremen could finish at the bottom of the table, haven’t been conclusively disproved yet.

Bremen are also the only German top flight side eliminated from Germany’s domestic cup after getting tossed out by Arminia Bielefeld in the opening DFB-Pokal round. That too, proved a totally brutal opening draw that left Bremen stumbling out of the gate. 

Practically no one gave Bremen a chance heading into the Bayern fixture. A home win against an extremely hard-working St. Pauli side next week also isn’t a given. The Hanseaten have plenty of work ahead of them.

GGFN | Peter Weis

Ever since he joined the Werder goalkeeping fray, the possibility that Hein might displace the young and inexperienced Mio Backhaus existed. Hein may receive a chance at a more prolonged audition as it remains unclear how long Backhaus’ shoulder injury will keep Bremen’s current No. 1 sidelined. Bremen head coach Horst Steffen certainly found himself impressed with Hein’s debut. 

“He [Hein] put in a good performance and didn’t let himself get stressed when in possession,” Steffen noted as last night’s post-match press conference. “That’s quite an achievement. In that respect, he stood his ground. He showed why we signed him. We do have a clear No. 1 and won’t change keepers after just one match, but the prognosis is that Mio will miss the next few games.“

“I’m just here to do my job,” Hein himself remarked in the mixed zone when asked if he felt any pressure ahead of his first Bundesliga start, adding: “I absolutely love playing in stadiums like this in the Bundesliga. I dreamed of this as a little Estonian boy. The quality here is extraordinary. This was a very special day for me.

”I don’t think on can always have a clear No. 1 and No. 2 in football,” Hein said when asked about future competition with Backhaus. “We’re a couple of young guys eager to further our careers, and I respect Mio. I’m just here for the team.“

GGFN | Peter Weis

The game went just as you would expect it to. Bayern would spend most of their time in the Bremen half, then if the visitors had a chance, they would break with their quick front quartet to try and have a chance on the counter. Bremen managed to hold firm for 22 minutes, mainly thanks to goalkeeper Karl Hein keeping them in the game. 

Bayern opened the scoring when a Michael Olise cross was flicked on by Jonathan Tah, but deflected in off of Luis Diaz to make it 1-0. 

Hein then managed to keep the score at 1-0 for most of the half, but, just before half-time, dread it, run from it, a Harry Kane penalty arrived, and the Englishman scored to make it 2-0 and close in on the record of being the quickest player to score 100 goals. 

Bayern were a lot flatter in the second half, but it did not stop Kane from scoring his second of the game and becoming the quickest player to score 100 goals. The Englishman was able to do this in 104 games for the Rekordmeister, beating the likes of Erling Haaland at Manchester City and Cristiano Ronaldo at Real Madrid. Just before full-time, Konrad Laimer would top off another strong performance with a goal of his own to make it 4-0. 

It was another impressive win from Bayern, who have now scored 22 goals in the opening five games of the season. The only game that caused them any trouble remotely was the 3-2 win against Augsburg. Their first big test of the season will be next Saturday away to Eintracht Frankfurt.

Admittedly, as a neutral and a Bundesliga fan, these big results from Bayern are not exactly fun or add any jeopardy or fun to the upper echelons of the league. Granted, it is a credit to the work that head coach Vincent Kompany has done. 

Now, Bayern and their fans to continue to enjoy the victory at Oktoberfest. If you are unfamiliar, the celebration is the largest volksfestival in the world. That is why Bayern were wearing a green and white kit against Bremen, who play in green and white. 

While for Bremen, they were expected to lose from the off. Considering how many goals they have conceded in the opening games, it was going to be tough for them to be able to keep Bayern quiet all night. There were some positive signs from SVW in Munich, which Horst Steffen can use to build upon. 

Bayern Munich Player Ratings

Manuel Neuer (6), Konrad Laimer (6), Jonathan Tah (5), Dayot Upamecano (6), Sacha Boey (6), Tom Bischof (6), Leon Goretzka (6), Michael Olise (7), Serge Gnabry (6), Luis Diaz (6), Harry Kane (7)

Others: Joshua Kimmich (5), Raphaël Guerreiro (5), Nicolas Jackson (5), Lennart Karl (5), Wisdom Mike (-)

Werder Bremen Player Ratings

Karl Hein (7), Yukinari Sugawara (5), Marco Friedl (5), Karim Coulibaly (5), Felix Agu (5), Senne Lynen (5), Jens Stage (5), Cameron Puertas (4), Romano Schmid (5), Samuel Mbangula (5), Justin Njinmah (5)

Others: Victor Boniface (5), Marco Grüll (5), Patrice Covic (-), Leonardo Bittencourt (-), Isaac Schmidt (-)

GGFN Man of the Match: Karl Hein (7)

Drafted into the starting 11 following an injury to Mio Backhaus, on loan Arsenal goalkeeper Karl Hein impressed on his debut for Bremen. 

The scoreline could have been a lot worse if it were not for the Estonian. Hein made eight saves (via FotMob) to keep out Bayern this evening, and even channelled his inner Manuel Neuer when it came to being a sweeper keeper. 

GGFN | Jack Meenan